I just read the book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” by Dr. Meg Meeker. The book is primarily about the vitally important role that fathers play in their dauther’s lives. However, one passage stuck out to me for a different reason. In the chapter on Humility Dr. Meeker makes a profound point, she says, “Happiness is truly found only when it is routinely denied.” Say what? That doesn’t make sense at first glance, so let me re-phrase it with a little amplification. “(True and lasting) happiness is truly found only when it (temporary, fleeting indulgence) is routinely denied.” The point is that by making happiness the primary, transcendent goal of our lives, we end up like the horse chasing a carrot on a stick. We continually think we’ve grasped happiness only to look up and realize that it’s still out of reach.
I recognized a small piece of this truth back in high school. I can remember shopping for months at various music stores for a keyboard. I was saving up and wanted the best deal for my money. I was often tempted to buy one on impulse, but I continued to put it off until I found exactly what I wanted. As I was going through this (at the time) monumental struggle, I told myself, “The longer you wait to get something, the sweeter it is once you get it.”
I think we all understand somehow that this is true, after all,”money can’t buy happiness.” Only by denying our selfishness are we able to truly build character and discipline. This applies to every aspect of our lives, relationships, recreation, eating, spending. Without some type of restraint on our desires, without self control we, in essence, lose a part of our humanity. People end up unhappy and discontent because they have too much of what they think they want, not because they don’t have enough of it.
What it boils down to is that happiness isn’t something you obtain. It’s not a place you reach, or a point in time that you pass in life. Rather, happiness is a continuum, not a dot. It is part of life’s journey. And the key to maintaining our happiness is denying our selfishness and proving our humanity by deciding to do what’s right instead of what feels right. This inevitably forces us to look outward instead of inward, and we live our lives full of true purpose, true meaning, and true happiness.