Lianne and I were watching Chicago Med and the doctors had to tell an eight-year-old that he was dying. The kid asked if he’d die in a week. They told him he’d live much longer than that. Then the child, filled with hope, asked if he’d live another year. They told him he had five full years ahead of him. He immediately got excited, dismissed the diagnosis, and wanted to know if he could have some ice cream. Five years seems like an eternity to an eight-year-old.
Five years doesn’t seem that long to me anymore. This is a common phenomenon recognized by neuroscientists and psychologists. It’s due in part to the relative ratio of time compared to our years lived. Five years is roughly 10 percent of my life. For that kid in the hospital, five years was over 60% of his life.
Another factor that makes time seem to speed up is that our brains processed things much faster when we were younger, and that pace slows down as we age. We don’t experience as many new things. We don’t take in as much new data. We don’t notice every detail of all of the common things around us. When we look back over the year it seems like it flew by because we didn’t process as many things happening in our lives as we did when we were younger.
I’m beginning to feel this. It’s not a crisis … but I am approaching midlife. Jaron has moved out and is married. Ava is in college and dating. Davin is driving and playing volleyball most evenings. Our nest is emptying, the calendar is moving, and it’s left me pondering what to do with the ever-fleeting time I have left on this earth.
For the last 24 years, my kids’ lives were inextricably joined with mine. My responsibility for them gave me purpose. What is God’s plan for the next 24 years of my life? I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently and I’ve come to a surprising realization.
I need to live my purpose today and that will allow me to fulfill my purpose tomorrow.
I’m spending too much emotional energy on what I’m going to be doing 5 years from now while I’m missing out on what I could be doing now. In fact, one of the ways to slow our perception of time as we age is to focus more on the present moments. Ironically, another tool that brings joy and fulfillment is to fill our lives with new and purposeful things. These may seem contradictory but I believe they are complementary. My goal is to intentionally foster new experiences and to work toward my purpose today. At the same time, I want to leave margins so that I can enjoy each minute as it ticks on by.
My next few blogs will be about Lianne’s and my plans for the new house and land. We’ve already done a good amount of work on the outside, and we just started a remodel on the inside. We’ll have some new “chicks” in our nest eventually (but not too soon) and we want to be ready. Follow along here on the blog, or check us out on YouTube and on Facebook. We’d love to hear from you as we continue on this journey.