When my Dad passed away we were so blessed by all of the people who came to his funeral. Middle school students who were impacted by his teaching. Players and family from Ava’s softball team. Former members of our church who had moved away. Coworkers. Family. Friends. So many people took time out of their busy schedules to pay their respects.
I had the microphone at the end of Dad’s funeral and I remember thinking how great it was to share memories with everyone, but also that it didn’t seem like enough. His life was so much more than what we could cover in 45 minutes. Then I looked around at the faces and I knew that it WAS enough because everyone there was taking a part of Dad with them into their lives.
the funeral was for me
On some level, people attend funerals to honor the deceased. But really, what do the deceased care? People also attend funerals to get closure for themselves. We can say “goodbye,” and reminisce. It is cathartic. When I saw all those faces crying and laughing, and when I got to hug so many of them, I understood that the funeral was for me. Sharing these stories with real people who knew Dad was what I needed to take that next step in the grieving process. Now I try to attend as many funerals as I can. I make sure to hug the family members and share a funny story with them. I hope that it helps in some small way.
Ava just finished performing in Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella at ODU. It was a celebration of hope and possibilities. It was NOT a funeral, but I was reminded of Dad’s funeral when I heard that friends and family had purchased 30 tickets for one of the shows. They were hoping for a fun night out for themselves, but they also wanted to show their love and appreciation for Ava.
At the shows, we saw so many people who we hadn’t seen for many years. We reconnected and caught up. It was great. Ava felt so loved and I was proud and blessed for everyone to see Ava perform. It was meaningful to me. Now I’m going to try to attend as many musicals as I can … and plays … and sporting events. I’ll enjoy them, and hopefully, I’ll be a blessing at the same time.
We recently spent some time with a 90-year-old family friend who isn’t doing so well. She told us about her small-town school and the theatrical plays she performed in. She remembers that her mother went to every performance. She is 90 and she remembers her mom being there and how much it meant to her.
Showing up for our kids and our friends is a simple thing, but it shows that we care. Maybe we can’t coach or be stage managers, but we can take an hour out of a Saturday morning to go watch some soccer. We’ll have fun and we’ll be a blessing at the same time. It’s a win-win.
So I’ll see you at the next funeral or musical. Hopefully, it’s a musical.