I guess your 40th birthday is a big deal. We use the decimal system here, so seeing that zero after your age apparently has some additional meaning. I think for Lianne and I it is just another day, but today is Lianne’s 40th birthday, so I want to take the opportunity to explain why she’s such a awesome girl.
As I parse through my recent memories for some anecdotes about Lianne, I think back to my Dad when he was in the hospital. (It seems like every thought or memory ties back to him.) What I remember most clearly is one time when Lianne decided to spend the night at the hospital with him. Mom had been staying there night after night, and we thought she needed a break. So Lianne volunteered. She kept a little record of her evening. She was up all night taking care of Dad. It was little things. He needed to shift positions, or he was thirsty, or he wanted to rinse his mouth out. It was constant. He was very uncomfortable. Of course, Lianne didn’t complain at all. Mom didn’t complain either, for that matter. These were simply small sacrifices that they made to show their deep love for him.
The next day, while I was hanging out with Dad some in the hospital he said to me, “Lianne is an angel.” Then he said, “She is soo sweet,” I remember he emphasized the word “so” by pitching it a little higher the way he would do. I spent a night with Dad too. I struggled with it. I didn’t want to. It was hard. Lianne, on the other hand, was up there every minute she could spare. Not everyone has a gift for compassion. I don’t. Lianne does. She has empathy, mercy, and compassion. She understands how to show love. She cries when I cry.
Lianne and Jaron sometimes get frustrated with each other. I mostly sit on the sidelines, which may not be the best M.O., but what I’ve seen recently is how much of her frustration is founded on her love for Jaron. She genuinely wants what is best for him, and for all the kids. That’s how a mom should be. What could be better than a mom who loves her kids with passion and who pushes them to be better every day? Nothing is better. That’s who she is. No one is better.
Love isn’t a feeling. Love is difficult. When you love someone, sometimes you get hurt, or angry. Sometimes they betray your trust. Sometimes you are inconvenienced and frustrated. Sometimes you have to hold their hand and grieve with them in a cold, pale room. Sometimes you have to sit next to them in that same room and watch them die.
I see Lianne living that difficult love. She packs lunches. She helps the kids with homework. She works hard both outside and inside the home. She sits in the hospital and fetches a sponge and dips it in mouth wash at 2am. She shows love to me and the kids every single day. So, not only is she gorgeous, sweet, and smart, she also understands love. That’s one of the many reasons I love her.
I love you Lianne. Happy birthday Babe!