Dad could sing. He wasn’t trained, but he could carry a tune. One day around the Fall/Winter Stevenson birthday season we were at Mom and Dad’s house to celebrate with dinner and dessert. The Stevensons love their dessert, so we don’t typically wait to let our dinner “settle” before looking for the sweets. Dinner is more like the interminable engagement period you have to trudge through before you get to the real goal underneath that veil of icing. It is a necessary evil, but it isn’t meant to be enjoyed on its own.
So it was, with thoughts of a glorious sugar high dancing in our heads, that the boys made quick work of dinner and immediately started scouring the kitchen for the main part of the meal. Alas, Mom informed us that the cake was still in the oven. A collective groan went up as we bemoaned our lot in life. “Why does it take so long to bake a cake?”
This triggered some long retired synapse in Dad’s brain and he started belting out an unsettling tune:
The cake’s in the oven
And it took too long to bake it
And I don’t have the recipe no moooorrrre
The last note peaked at a high tenor crescendo that he delivered with his characteristic, unabashed gusto.
We four boys looked around in stunned silence as the last refrain echoed in our minds for a few seconds. Then the dam burst and it was laughter and incredulous questions all around. “What in the world was that?”
He looked shocked that we hadn’t joined in, like some kind of indoor campfire sing along, “You haven’t heard of that? It was a popular hit back in the day.”
It was too ridiculous to be believed. We mocked him mercilessly. Surely he was misremembering things. The song doesn’t even make sense. He made it up.
He sang it again and said, “Bev, Bev, you remember the song don’t you?”
She wisely stayed out of it, knowing that she would quickly become the object of our ridicule if she dared to side with her beloved husband. Plus, I think she secretly enjoyed watching us torment him. “What are the rest of the lyrics?” we demanded. He couldn’t remember, maybe something about a park? “Who sang it?” He didn’t know, maybe some country singer? His defense was pathetic, but he didn’t give up easily.
So he sang it again, “I don’t have the recipe no mooooooooorrrrrrrrrrre!!!” The volume increased, the final note reached ever higher. It was even funnier the 3rd time. We never let him forget it.
Inevitably, the family would be gathered for one event or another and some part of the meal would take a tad bit longer than the rest. One of the boys would belt out, “The chicken’s in the oven, and it took too long to bake it.” We’d all join in then, and would once again pile on with the lunacy of the whole idea of the song. Dad would continue to swear by the fact that it was a real song and that it was pretty popular. Like a raving madman he would heartily sing it for anyone who was nearby and who was over 50 years old. That wasn’t a problem unless we happened to be at a restaurant and the waiters were taking their time bringing the little cupcake and ditty for someone’s birthday. One of the boys would start up, “The cupcake’s in the oven …” We’d shake our heads at the absurdity, and laugh obnoxiously. Yeah, we were THAT family at the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Dad is singing the tune for the older couple next to us who is just trying to enjoy a quiet dinner out. “… no moooooorrrrrrrrrrre!!” Then he’d look at them expectantly, “You remember that song, right?” Alas, he could never get confirmation, although one sweet little old lady did tell him in a patronizing way that he had a “nice voice.”
The years passed, and the joke faded, only brought up occasionally, along with other classics such as “check your batteries” and “holding remote far away from face so you can actually see the buttons.”
That is, until now. Thanks to the Internet we’ve found out that indeed, “it took too long to bake it.” I think we all suspected that it might be true, but it was too much fun to pretend that it wasn’t. Now there’s no more pretending. The lyrics were a little off, but Dad was right. He’s been vindicated. We’re sorry we ever doubted you.