When Dad was in the Navy it was a man’s world. It was before the Tailhook scandal. It was widely understood that the military was filled with boys and that boys would be boys. Dad was different. Other than laughing at fart jokes, he had left boyhood behind. He was a gentleman in the old-fashioned sense. He treated women with respect. He believed in avoiding sin and avoiding temptation, and he lived those convictions in his life, whether at home or on the job. Sometimes that was easier said than done.
He was invited to a retirement dinner at the Officer’s Club on the Subic Bay Naval base. One of his co-workers was retiring, and they asked Dad to present the retirement plaque. Everyone was there, including all of Dad’s peers, subordinates, and high-ranking officers, including the XO (Executive Officer). The dining room was packed. The long tables were covered in white tablecloths, with officers sitting shoulder to shoulder, bright ribbons and medals gleaming. Dad enjoyed a good dinner, and he was always ready with a good story and a hearty laugh. I picture him there in a similar situation as Jesus dining with tax collectors. I’m sure he enjoyed himself, despite the coarseness of some of his company. I’ve attended a few of these military gatherings myself, and there’s always some good-natured ribbing, in addition to the military pomp and ceremony. At some point, however, the festivities took a disturbing turn.
Before I continue that story, let me tell you about Dad’s retirement ceremony as a comparison. There was a group of 30 or so civilians, enlisted, and officers in attendance. One after another his co-workers took their turn mocking Dad’s hairline, his inability to spell, or whatever other personal quirk they could contrive to get a laugh. Then, one after another they praised his moral fortitude, his kind heart, his love for his family, and his love for God. Many of them cried as they recounted some simple act of grace or a moment of selflessness. They shared special anecdotes that they recalled from their years of working with Dad. It was a moving experience to see that these men and women from his work life, knew the same man I knew at home. Dr. Weston, our pastor at the time, gave the benediction. Afterward, he told Dad how blessed he was to hear about someone living their faith in such a tangible way. That was Dad’s retirement ceremony, and it stands in stark contrast to what he experienced many years before at the Subic Bay O’ Club.
Dessert was being served in the crowded dining hall, and now it was time for some entertainment. It didn’t take long for Dad to realize that this was not his idea of a good time. There were a lot of scantily clad women dancing about, and they were getting more scantily clad by the second. He didn’t want to be there. He was also embarrassed to leave, and he still had to say a few words and present the retirement plaque. His co-workers were there. The XO was there. He was completely pinned in at his table. He didn’t want to make a scene. He told me that he sat there frozen for what seemed like an eternity, struggling with the decision of whether to stay or go. He said that panic started to build within him and he simply HAD to get out of there. There wasn’t enough room to just get up and walk out, there wasn’t even room to slide his chair out. He did it anyway, standing up quickly, pushing against the people behind him and to either side. In his haste to reach the aisle and the exit, he had to climb over the other sitting attendees. He could feel the eyes of the crowd on him as the music blared and the ladies danced. He mumbled some apologies and hustled out of the building. The air outside was so clean and fresh.
On the way home, he wondered what people would think. He wondered what they were saying about him.
It didn’t take long for him to find out. The next day was Sunday. We all attended the military chapel. After the church service, the XO tracked Dad down. “Lieutenant, I saw you leave the party last night. Thank you for doing the right thing. I apologize for that display, and it won’t happen again.”
Yes, the XO thanked him, and apologized to him personally! The courage of Dad’s personal convictions shone a light in a place where there wasn’t a lot of light. People saw that light in Dad, and they recognized the rightness of it. They were drawn to it. The evidence of that was made clear at his own retirement ceremony many years later. He touched many, many lives just by doing what was right, loving mercy, and walking humbly with his God. We should all strive to do the same.