Is it choice, or is it fate?
White or red?
The difference between the two is profound.
White or red?
That decision would alter the course of our lives forever.
White or red?
His alarm woke him up at 6:30am that Thursday morning. If it had been a normal morning for the high school junior, he would have groggily swung his legs over the side of his bed and just sat there comatose for a good 10 or 15 minutes. This was not a normal morning, however. It took him a few moments to realize it, but he soon had that thrilling feeling that you get when you know it’s going to be an exciting day. You know, the same feeling you get when you wake up and it suddenly dawns on you that it’s Christmas morning, or that you’re leaving for an out of town vacation, or it’s the first day of Summer break. That was the feeling the 17 year old got this day, and it propelled him out of bed and into the shower within seconds. Today was a day that he had been thinking about for months. He had a feeling that the events which he was hoping to put in motion today would affect the course of the rest of his life. We all come across those moments regularly in our lives, those major decisions, and sometimes minor ones, that end up having an overwhelming impact on who we are and where our lives go. Bryan had the good fortune to recognize ahead of time that this day was to be one of those moments, and it only added to his excitement. The date was February 14th, 1991.
Bryan, like most teenagers, had been attracted to a number of different girls throughout high school. Short term crushes, never spoken, never acted upon. In part, his reticence to make a move was based on fear and shyness, after all he was a short little geeky kid with a giant black-denim jacket filled with patches and buttons from just about every Christian rock band in existence. His actions were also based, in part, on caution and on a strict Christian upbringing. He noticed that his feelings came and went, and that his relationships, if he pursued them, would probably come and go as well. He had a romantic dream, and his hope was to live that dream out in his life.
With such life changing and lofty thoughts, Bryan had finally decided to make his move. He had met this girl in youth group about two years earlier, and was first attracted to her at a Christian rock concert they both attended. He bought a shirt. He pulled it out of the plastic wrapping to show everyone, but he couldn’t fold it back into the package. This sweet girl had pity on him. She reached over, gently took the shirt, and folded it perfectly in under 6 seconds. “That’s the girl I’m gonna marry.” 🙂
In reality, he figured his feelings for this tall, beautiful, and incredibly shy girl would fade over time. Weeks and then months passed and the feeling did not go away. In fact, he found himself getting nervous around her, and not knowing how to act. His feelings were becoming impossible to ignore and he knew that something had to be done. His opportunity came when one of the school clubs decided to raise money by selling carnations for Valentine’s Day. For $1 you could buy a carnation and have it delivered to anyone in the school. It seemed so simple, but a fear soon made itself horrifyingly apparent. What if he gave this veritable goddess a carnation and was repayed for his efforts and affection with disinterest, or worse, rejection? There had to be a way to protect himself from hurt, but to still express his feelings. Fortunately, the carnations provided the answer. The club was selling 3 different colors of carnations. There were white carnations which represented friendship, there were pink carnations which represented the possibility of something more, and there were red carnations which meant that you were head over heels in love. He thought about giving a pink carnation, fearing that a red would send too strong of a signal, but he didn’t feel pink inside, no, he felt red. This was to be the first time in his life that he had told a girl how he felt about her. He wanted it to be perfect. A white carnation wasn’t enough, a pink wasn’t right, and a red was too much. Finally the answer came to him, his decision was made, and he KNEW it was right. He got one of the sheets of paper on which you could write a message to be delivered with your carnation, and he started to write. “To: Lianne Pearsall …”
Bryan left the house that morning as excited and as nervous as he had ever been in his life. His parents may have sensed something, but if so, they didn’t say. Few people knew of his plan, although in typical high school fashion he had told the girl’s best friend. Her response had been positive and gave him the confidence he needed to carry it through. As he rode to school in his friend’s Porshe he thought about what the day’s events would bring. The carnations would be delivered early in the day, during home room. He would see Lianne in the cafeteria before school started, where a group of kids met for morning prayer. They usually stood together and talked for a few minutes before classes started. She arrived before he did, and as he walked in and saw her the butterflies in his stomach almost made him sick. She was so perfect. He hoped against hope that Lianne could see him the way he saw her. They chatted briefly, and he acted as normal as possible. Then they headed for home room. There was no turning back now, the moment had arrived. He watched as carnations were handed out in his homeroom, and he knew that Lianne was getting hers now, at that very moment. What was she thinking? What was her reaction? Would the words he wrote, and the gift he sent, send the message he intended? He wouldn’t find out for another few hours at lunch, and then either his worst nightmare, or his wildest dreams would come true. The rest of the morning was a nerve racking blur. He couldn’t focus on the lessons or on his work, all he could think about was the girl who had captured his heart and who haunted his dreams.
Lunch finally arrived, and Bryan rushed to the cafeteria. He was already seated at their table as she walked in with her best friend. In her hand were the two carnations he had sent her. One white and one red, along with a note telling her she could choose whichever she wished. Which one did she wish? The way her light blue eyes lit up when she saw him, and the huge smile that covered her gorgeous face, told him all he needed to know.
White or red?
Nearly 15 years have passed and the choice is clear
Which will it be my dear?
The answer is perfect and easily seen
We have found it, never fear
It is not a choice between the two that guides us as we live
Not either or, not one or the other, but both is what we give
It is both the white and the red that holds the key to happiness together,
And that is truly what we are, best friends and lovers forever